Critics Call Scott Hahn’s Latest Book “Lots Of Pun To Read”

December 14, 2012 by  
Filed under Parish Life, Uncategorized

Steubenville, OH––Ignatius Press has announced that Scott Hahn’s upcoming book will be loaded from start to finish with laugh-out-loud, side-splitting, yet thought-provoking puns. “With this book, I’ve managed to fully explore the way humor and moral theology compliment one another,” explained Hahn in an exclusive interview with Eye of the Tiber. “The results are simply pun-tastic.” Hahn, known for his heavy use... Read More

Scientists Test Effects of Novus Ordo On Longtime Sedevacantist

December 12, 2012 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads, Uncategorized

Dr. William Manders interviewed about Novus Ordo testing on Sedevacantist. Los Angeles, CA–Attempting to explain the physical and emotional toll that an average Sedevacantist would endure during a Novus Ordo, students at UCLA have recently begun tests on 54-year-old Sedevacantist John Weiss of Glendale, California. “Thus far the results have been quite fascinating,” Head of the Department of Sciences at UCLA Dr. William Manders told... Read More

Colorado Priest To Appoint Entire Parish Eucharistic Ministers

December 10, 2012 by  
Filed under Mass, Uncategorized

Loveland, CO––Saint Perpetua Parish Priest Father Nick Farley announced Friday that he would be appointing every single parishioner at his church an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion. “In due respect to the amount of Extraordinary Ministers needed per mass, the adage ought to be, more the merrier,” Farley said. Farley later proudly added that all of his current Extraordinary Ministers are so extraordinary that they are not... Read More

Jesus May Have Been Born Years After Pope Thinks, Claims Incoming Anglican Archbishop

December 8, 2012 by  
Filed under Uncategorized, Vatican

CANTERBURY––The “mistake” was made by 21st century Pope and scholar known as Benedict XVI or God’s Rottweiler, the incoming Anglican Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby claims in his new book, Christ of Nazareth: The Baby Narratives, published on Thursday. “The Pope claims that the calculation of the beginning of our calendar, that being based on the birth of Jesus, was made by Dionysius Exiguus, who made a mistake in... Read More

Italian Doctor Prescribes Israel, Palestine High Dose Of Chill Pill

December 6, 2012 by  
Filed under Politics, Uncategorized

ROME––At the request of Pope Benedict XVI, Rome’s foremost family counselor Dr. Umberto Navarro announced today that he has sat down with Israel and Palestine to try to encourage the volitile couple to peacefully work out their issues. “I sat down with the couple for an hour long counseling session and it quickly became apparent that the relationship is not only insecure, but emotionally unstable,” Navarro said. He went... Read More

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