People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More

Mass

“Extraordinary Mass Should Not Be The Norm,” Extraordinary Minister Of Holy Communion Reporting

Pigeon Forge, Tennessee––Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion Ernest Robbins is reporting to friends and family that the Extraordinary Form of the Liturgy “should never become the norm,” but that it should “remain... Read More

Questions Arise After Mother Neglects To Remove Hysterical Child From Mass

Eugene, OR––In the immediate aftermath of the Mass in which parishioner Heather Thomas neglected to remove her crying child to the cry-room during the homily, family of the 26-year-old mother were quick to blame the non-removal of the... Read More

Creepy Clown Masses On The Rise

Image: Graeme Maclean Reports out of Cincinnati, Ohio today suggest sightings of Creepy Clown Masses are on the rise nationwide, and at levels not seen since the introduction of the 3rd typical edition of the Roman Missal five years ago. While... Read More

One Million Youth Visit Rio To See Pope On Large Screen

Rio de Janerio, Brazil––Media sources confirm that nearly one million Catholic young people from nearly every country in the world put aside their lives and traveled to Brazil to catch a glimpse of the Holy Father Pope Francis projected... Read More

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Libs & Trads

Rad Trad Woman Just Wants A Good Man Who’s Willing To Wait Till Marriage Before Flagellating

Local SSPV woman Deanna Russell confessed to friends late last night that all she wanted in life was a good and holy man who was willing to wait till marriage before... Read More

Protestants Worldwide Venerate Statue Of Martin Luther In Honor Of Reformation Day

Image_Jorge Royan   Protestants from across the globe flocked to Wittenberg, Germany Tuesday to venerate a statue of Martin Luther in honor of the 500th anniversary... Read More

San Diego Bishop To Have Diocese Sprayed In Effort To Fight The Spread Of Orthodoxy

In an effort to combat what is being called a “fast-moving and highly contagious disease,” officials at the Diocese of San Diego announced today that they will... Read More

Joel Osteen Vigorously Attempting To Shove Camel Through Eye Of Needle

Image: RobertMWorsham   [News Brief]   Just days after refusing to offer shelter at his megachurch to victims of Hurricane Harvey, popular pastor Joel... Read More

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Politics

Fr. Frank Pavone Accidentally Named Supreme Court Nominee After Obama Inadvertently Picks Up Wrong File From Desk

Image: Wiki Commons Catholic priest and pro-life activist Fr. Frank Pavone... Read More

Around The Clock Coverage As Tens Of People March To Protect European Starling Bird Eggs

European Starling eggs. Washington, DC–MSNBC has announced that they... Read More

Nancy Pelosi Named Speaker Of The Church

Image: Gage Skidmore   Nancy Pelosi became the most powerful person... Read More

Congregation For Divine Worship Rules Against FSSP Novus Ordo Ban

Image: Staselnik A Congregation for Divine Worship panel has unanimously... Read More

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Vatican

Cardinal Burke Demoted To Chaplain Of Akron RubberDucks Minor League Baseball Team

Akron, OH–Pope Francis has reportedly planned to remove Cardinal Raymond Burke... Read More

Pope Warns Warmongers One Last Time Before Unleashing His Vengeance

Image: Andrew Hermiz   After celebrating the Feast of All Souls Day last week,... Read More

Women In Love With Married Men Appeal To Pope To Make Fidelity Optional

  VATICAN–A group of 26 Italian mistresses who claim to be having affairs... Read More

Pope Saving Ring Pop All For Himself Today

Recent footage of Pope Francis shows him repeatedly pulling his hand away from... Read More

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