People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More

Mass

Man Drops $10 In Donation Basket Like He’s Some Kind Of Beverly Hills Millionaire

Atherton, CA––In what many witnesses are calling “a stunning act of generosity,” a mysterious parishioner was spotted placing a $10 bill into the donation basket at the St. Mark’s Catholic Church 9:00 am Mass as though... Read More

Report: Priest Doing That Stupid Thing Where He Walks Up And Down Aisle During Homily

Image: ChipSomodevilla/Getty Images Europe   Being asked about how their weekends were going, parishioners at St. Luke Parish announced Sunday that Fr. Todd Bunnell was, yet again, leaving the podium and making his way down to the aisle... Read More

USCCB To Consider Implementing Challenge Flags And Instant Replays During Masses

“Parishioners are challenging the orthodoxy of the homily.” Washington, D.C.–As bishops from across the country gather in Washington, D.C. this weekend for the annual USCCB Liturgical Conference, many within the Church are speculating... Read More

“Our Father” Ringtone Conveniently Goes Off During “Our Father,” Keeping Everyone In Key

Topeka, KS–According to sources at Our Lady Star of the Sea Parish in Topeka, Kansas, a phone belonging to an unidentified person went off early Sunday morning during the Our Father, despite the pastor’s repeated requests that... Read More

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Libs & Trads

Dumbstruck Congregation Listens In Awe As “Judgmental” Pastor Delivers Sound Homily

Encinitas, CA–Listening in shock and horror as a visiting priest delivered what many believed to be a judgmental homily earlier this morning, many parishioners... Read More

Updated SSPX Catechesis Program To Now Include Fundamentals Of Catholic Trolling

Image: WikiCommons SSPX leadership is preparing to launch a new Catechism program in an effort to help better explain Church teaching and how to best completely... Read More

Area Baptist Church Runs Out Of Welch’s 100% Grape Juice For Communion

San Diego, CA–Pastor Kyle Sandera of Newlife Baptist Church in San Diego, California says that an unanticipated large crowd at Sunday service this past weekend... Read More

SSPX Sentences Priest To 1,000 Lashes For Smiling During Mass

Society of St. Pius X priest Fr. Donald Johnson has been sentenced to three years in prison and 1,000 lashes for allegedly smiling during the Mass two weeks ago. Johnson... Read More

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Politics

Paula Deen Not In Hot Water After Using Anti-Catholic Slur

Savannah, GA––Just weeks after admitting she used racist and anti-Semitic comments... Read More

Dolan, Jenky To Settle Dispute Over Sheen Remains In Octagon

A verbal battle between two Catholic leaders over the body of legendary... Read More

Perfect Meme Reverses Roe v. Wade

In a desperate effort to outdo a pro-life meme that was so great and... Read More

Fear Of Elderly Vatican Priests, Nuns Violently Storming U.S. Embassy Reason For Relocation, U.S. State Department Confirms

A security guard outside the U.S. Embassy to the Vatican checks for dangerous... Read More

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Vatican

Swiss Guard Wondering Where The Hell All The Action Is

Image:gnuckx   New member of the Swiss Guard Leon Habsburg has reportedly made... Read More

Papal Conclave Error: Burke Wins Papacy After Conclave Mix-Up

Image:Нұрлан Саят In an epic mistake that drew gasps from Catholics and... Read More

Vatican Opens Retirement Community To Accommodate Expected Influx Of Retired Popes

Following comments made by Pope Francis last week stating that he felt his pontificate... Read More

New DC Comics ‘Benedict V Francis: Dawn Of Mercy’ Film Getting Terrible Reviews

Image: Andrew Hermiz It’s been three years since Benedict’s colossal battle... Read More

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